Febraury 19th

Dear journal,

Today’s entry is dedicated to anything other than sitting around and waiting for work things to happen, so I set my alarm and got up nice an early to go for a run. I really needed it after all the dinner I had last night; I tripled one of the recipes I found in one of Mother’s cookbooks, just to see if I could cook it with what I have (dry run for the thing I am not talking about, also known as working) and it turned out really well. I think it should feed a full house, possibly with a little left over, but since I am only one person, there’s a ton of left overs and I ate more than I probably should. Other than checking my messages each time I come home from my personal day adventures, I have been avoiding getting sucked in by little things that can wait until later.

After I got home and took a long shower, I ran a load of laundry, reheated some leftovers and decided it was time to take a walk around the neighbourhood, considering that isn’t something I usually do, and although I pretty much know where things are, if I were asked to give directions, I would probably make little to no sense. It is good to explore your surroundings every once in a while, because things change and it is also a sort of fun game to see what has stayed the same. I noticed this beat up old car that I remember has always been parked a few blocks away that I used to see every day on my way to school is still there, although it is hard to tell if it has been driven in a long time. It is pretty costly to run a vehicle, considering The Council goes through a lot to get fuel supplies, let alone parts for when things break, so most people just walk where they need to go unless they need to transport big items. I usually only see vehicles actually driving on the streets if furniture is being moved or the Recovery Team is out and working.

It was peaceful to just stroll and take in details from the neighbourhood – I hope to make a habit of doing so more often. I am my own boss now, after all, so I guess I can pencil it into my schedule whenever I need or want to. Strange how I tried to make this entry about anything but my new business, but everything I write seems to keep coming back to just that. Oh well, it is a huge part of my day-to-day life, so I guess it is going to leak in everyone once in a while (unless I am doing a terrible job, and not in a “I had a hilariously bad day at the office” type of way, as I am sure that those entries will be amusing in a “at least that’s over now” type of way).

I guess I’m nervous; I’m sure that’s natural and I shouldn’t worry too much about being nervous. It just feels like tomorrow will be a brand new day, with new challenges and new people to consider. Just because I end up thinking about work-related things (like how I did my laundry today in case I get tenants in the next few days who would really appreciate some clean clothing) doesn’t mean I’m overly involved; it just means that I am looking forward to it and cannot stand waiting for things to really start up.

It feels weird when I realize that Kevin was only killed just over two weeks ago, and now, any day, I will be my own boss, making my own decisions and running things however I see fit (within reason, obviously). I had a lot of freedom while working with Kevin, but now it is time for me to step up and take control. I really hope I am ready.

Always,
-Miriam