April 1st

Posted: April 2, 2013 in Uncategorized

Dear journal,

Strangely, everyone has today free from work and school, so it feels like there are more people in the house than there should be for lunchtime. I finished my run earlier enough to shower and make some delicious chicken and vegetable wraps, which we all ate together, like a family meal. It was nice to see everyone looking a little bit more rested than usual. Nick and Ellen are still working really hard most days, and the girls are still getting caught up in all their classes, but it was nice to see everyone relax, even if it made the house feel strangely full during the lunch hour.

I checked my online banking and The Council made all the correct rent transactions, so that is one less thing to have to think about. I did pretty well last month, as far as the food budget goes, but I then realized that there was about a week where we couldn’t grocery shop, so maybe it isn’t the best indicator. I mean, everyone was fed, but they might have been fed better if we hadn’t been invaded by zombies and forced to stay inside until they were dealt with.

I’m looking forward to my supervisor shift tomorrow. Hopefully I’ll have some people from the Running Club join me to work on their strength training. It is fun to have something to look forward to that includes other people. If I don’t watch out, I might get myself a social life.

I’ve decided to take a break from combing through Mother’s old fitness magazines and think I’ll spend some time just being lazy in the sun that is streaming into my room, and reading one of the mind candy novels I found while cleaning the room. That way, I don’t really have to think too hard but can be entertained and soak up some sun.

All in all, I am still pretty content. Looking back about a week ago in my entries, I cannot believe how low I felt when I now feel so safe, warm and in a good place. Life is full of ups and downs, warmth and cold, but it is weird to have such extremes so close together. I’m hoping that I will continue to look on the bright side instead of being consumed by the dark side, because life is going really well right now and I would love for that to continue without me freaking out and confining myself to my room under the pretense that I am sick. It isn’t any fun, it isn’t productive, but I guess I just needed some time to reflect and rest. It is better than bottling depressing feelings up and having them inevitably explode everywhere, taking other people down with my sadness.

That was a strange visual – I just saw a dark cloud (supposedly of sadness) drop out of the sky and smash my house, completely destroying it. Sometimes my imagination can be rather dramatic. I even saw items from the house spraying outward under the pressure of the (supposedly heavy – which is weird because clouds shouldn’t be seen as heavy) cloud, hitting people passing on the sidewalk and embedding themselves in the walls of the neighbouring houses. Vivid. Strange. Maybe I’ll keep that daydream material to myself.

I wonder what Rick would say about that. I personally think that I am being a little self-centred – my bad mood couldn’t possibly effect that many people, right?

Always,
-Miriam

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