March 16th

Posted: March 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

Dear journal,

Nothing more on Andrew. I even went by the woods and called his name, but didn’t want to go in there, since I know I would get lost. There was no response. I don’t want to talk about it anymore, because then I will just fixate on it and I really don’t need to be stressing out. I’m sure I’ll bump into him on the street and at any time now, or The Council representatives will call with information soon.

I’ve been reading through more of the papers I found when my room still felt like my Mother’s room, since it does a half-decent job of keeping my mind occupied. For most of it, I cannot figure out why she bothered to keep it, outside of her just not bothering to throw things out. Outside of that, I have found a few early notices posted by The Council that are a little strange. One seemed to be telling people not to worry, and that the threat was definitely not anything that could be considered a zombie – but they didn’t bother explaining what the threat actually was. Maybe they thought it was better to keep things under wraps until they knew more information and could better prepare people for the truth. Mind you, even these days, they still won’t refer to them as zombies – they tend to call them “the threat”.

I’ve filled a large bag with pages that are of no use to me, and cannot help but hope that when I take it out to the bins that Andrew will come around the corner with a really good reason as to why no one has seen him in the last few days.

Nick and Ellen have each been told to take a day off today to prevent them from burning out, so they are spending their time napping or drinking tea and watching the latest updates on the television. Ellen hasn’t been staring as intently at the phone as she used to, but I have seen her glance over quite a few times today. I think she’s waiting on word from Andrew, rather than employers, although I have taken a couple of messages for her regarding places that have openings due to casualties from the breach.

They haven’t posted the exact number of people killed or injured in this breach, but I have a feeling that it is the highest number since we put up the barricade. Maybe they are waiting to see if more people in critical care will live or die before creating the statistics. I can only wonder how many people were out on the street, unable to get back inside into secure locations, when the horde attacked. Hope many cases could have been avoided if people could run faster, or if they took a different route than their usual.

I guess there isn’t too much of a point in speculating about what could or couldn’t have happened, and how it could have been different. I just hate how damaged this whole town is. I would give almost anything for our community to be able to function without fear. How many kids are now growing up without parents, or didn’t get the chance to grow up because they were killed before they had the chance? Is there ever any point in full mourning the passing of people who shouldn’t be dead, considering there will be a new batch before I am even ready to think about it? All of this death and destruction sometimes makes me overwhelmingly sad, and other times I feel like there is a wall forming around my heart, trying to make it so I cannot feel the pain of lose that is all around me.

Always,
-Miriam

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