March 15th

Posted: March 13, 2013 in Uncategorized

Dear journal,

I cannot help but feeling that this journal doesn’t really have much to do with me, but more to do with the people around me. Just glancing back through the pages, I keep seeing names pop out: Andrew, Ellen, Nick, Mandy, Penelope, Kevin, Rick and my Mother. Am I defining myself based on my interactions with them? I don’t really know how to define myself outside of that, besides the basics: age, looks, gender and living in a town that gets attacked by zombies. Other than that, I have emotions like everyone else, and I share those in this journal, but sometimes I cannot help but wonder what someone reading this would think about me. Would it make any difference if they already knew me? Would they want to get to know me better? Is there a lot to get to know, or am I self-explanatory?

I don’t know where this philosophical rant came from, besides feeling like I write about my tenants, friends, boss and Mother more than I talk about myself (besides updates about my running hobby). I really don’t know what else would be worth sharing. It isn’t as though I am purposefully hiding anything, because I highly doubt that anyone would bother reading this journal of complete rambling.

To go with my tradition about taking about other people, there is still absolutely no word on Andrew. No one at work or at his apartment has seen him since he left Nick at the barricade. Nick reported his disappearance to The Council, and we are all pretty worried. We had a quick dinner of grilled sandwiches and everyone in the house, no matter how tired they are, decided to go out and take walks through the neighbourhood to see if we might come across anything to do with where he might have gone. I teamed up with the girls and Nick and Ellen went together in the opposite direction. Between us, we checked The Centre, the diner, the grocery store and walked the blocks near the place where I go running and near Andrew’s apartment. We had no idea what we were looking for, besides Andrew himself, and we found nothing of any use.

I guess the best we can hope for is either having Andrew show up at some point, or getting a phone call from The Council letting us know where he has been. I really don’t want to start thinking that someone bad has happened to him, but things aren’t looking good. Where could he possibly have gone? It isn’t like someone can just walk away from town and disappear, not to mention it wouldn’t make any sense to leave where we can be mostly sure we are safe. It is almost a sure thing that being outside of the barricade would be more dangerous than staying inside.

I also feel that if he has been hurt, we would have been informed when we contacted The Council, unless he is hurt somewhere that no one knows about. It’s too late now, but maybe I’ll take a look through the woods where I nearly ran him over, but it doesn’t make any sense that he would go back there when he has a place to live.

I need to find something else to do to keep my mind off this until I can sleep, because all of this worrying is keeping me wide awake, and the more I just try to sleep, the more I sit here and worry about what could have happened and why.

Always,
-Miriam

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