February 1st

Posted: February 1, 2013 in Uncategorized

Dear journal,

I only realized this morning that I have managed to keep writing in this journal for an entire month, which hopefully means that this behaviour is engrained into my daily life and I actually complete the year, instead of forgetting and messing things up after I have come this far. I honestly thought I would be quit within a week, even though I felt that I should give it an honest try in Rick’s memory.

I feel better than I did yesterday after writing about that fight. The work day passed uneventfully – I didn’t have anyone stupid show up to bother me. Now I have a night to myself in which I plan to start on that closet. Maybe it will all go really well and I can actually have some down time tomorrow during my day off to get back to running, or even make something incredibly delicious for dinner. It always seems like a bit of a waste to make anything too extravagant, but I suppose I could save the extras for work lunches, or even add things to the left overs so they don’t seem like the same meal. I’ll have to hit the supermarket at some point and see what strikes my fancy, but I’ll wait until tomorrow to do that trip. I’m a little too comfortable in my own little world, and I don’t really feel like leaving, in case there are any other people out there who want to upset me with that random accusations.

I don’t know how long Andrew was knocking on my door, but I found a scrap of paper on my door mat that had “I’m sorry” and an address on the other side of town scribbled down, as though I would actually want to go and find him after I poured my guts out and ran away in embarrassment. If he thought I was mad at him before, he should know for certain that I’m mad at him now. I’m trying to just forget about it, because I don’t want the ridiculous situation to wreck my week.

I had been considering asking the boss for a vacation, but I don’t know if that can happen now that the shop is getting busier. We’ll probably have to train a new person just so the shop isn’t in trouble of being too slow, and then maybe another just so they won’t be missing me when I do decide to take some time off. I’ve been thinking even more about running accommodation from my house, and figure that if I get a few good tenants, maybe I won’t have to work anymore, not that I hate my job, but running accommodation will probably be a job in itself, depending on if it is room and board or just a room. I’ll have to see if anyone else in town is doing it, and figure out how things work for them. Maybe my trust issues are making me feel this way, but I would want to be around the house a lot if other people are living here, just to make sure they aren’t up to no good. It is strange how it seems like a really good idea and a horrible idea all at the same time.

I might have to flip a coin to see which storage location I tackle this time – bathroom or closet. It would be handy to have that en suite functional, but I can obviously manage to keep using the bathroom down the hall. Same goes for the closet – it would be handy to have it ready for my hanging clothing, but I don’t really mind going back to my old room to get dressed. Neither is a more important task than the other – I just know that I want both done. If I think about cleaning the rest of the house any time soon, it just makes this feel like a huge, undoable chore, but when I break it down to these smaller locations, it seems like these changes are completely manageable. If I’m lucky, I might be able to finish one and start the other before going back to the madness of the smoothie shop and terrifying the boss with my request for time off.

Always,
-Miriam

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