January 25th

Posted: January 25, 2013 in Uncategorized

Dear journal,

Still haven’t heard from him or seen him. Stop asking. I’m going to stop writing to you about it.

Work was fine, less boring and busier than usual, which made the time go by faster. I went for a run, but forgot to time the laps. I’m sure I’m getting faster. I don’t feel like I’m in as much pain at the end of my runs as I was on the first few days. Hopefully I can make this a habit. It makes me feel like I am achieving something – it makes me feel like I am going somewhere, even though I’m still stuck in the same town I’ve always lived in. If Mother and I took any trips out-of-town before the wall went up, I don’t remember them. I do remember her reading magazines with buildings and landscapes that are definitely not here, though. Maybe that is part of the reason I started clearing more of her stacks after my run.

The ultimate reason is likely boredom. I think I got used to having someone around to entertain me (although that sounds a lot more exciting than it was – it’s not like he juggled for me or anything). Now the house seems quite, and I’m antsy. I got five more stacks cleared, but didn’t find any of her magazines. Maybe they are in her old room. Maybe I should be focusing on getting that room cleared out first, so I can move in there. It might be good for me to get that process rolling, because that would mean going through all of my old things and getting rid of whatever I no longer need. Anything that isn’t garbage, I donate, so I feel like I am helping in my own little way. Just because I have no need for a lot of this crap doesn’t mean someone else might not want it. Look at those old cloths that Andrew rescued.

I have a couple of days off coming up (one more shift tomorrow), so I think I’ll dedicate that time to getting Mother’s old room cleared out and my things moved in. It might take up the entire two days, but I’m sure I could get it done if I put my mind to it. I could always go the route of dumping everything, but I have a feeling that I’ll find more interesting things in there than in the stacks in other rooms around the house. She would have wanted her favourite things with her, wouldn’t she?

I foresee the need for a lot of cleaning and transportation of rubbish and donation items, so I guess I should hit the store either tonight or tomorrow after work to get some cleaning supplies and garbage bags. Maybe I should take the bags I already have that are full of donation items to the centre tonight, to make room for the new bags I’m sure to make over my “weekend”.

Three or four days from now, I might actually live in the master bedroom of the house that I have had all to myself for 5 years. That is a pretty slow timeline, I suppose, but it is really going to come down to these next few days and putting all my effort forward. I don’t think those windows have been cleaned since before Mother died, either, so it really is going to be a big job.

And after everything is cleaned (and all the rooms are gone through), maybe I should either start renting rooms or get some cats. The place will probably seem way too big without all of Mother’s crap stacked everywhere, and that will make it even more lonely. I’m sure I could make a decent amount of money, assuming I find people who I would rather live with than cats. Maybe I’ll get some human tenants and some feline tenants, or someone will need a place who already has a pet.

I better get some sleep so I can finish planning everything tomorrow. I might as well get started when I get home from work.

Always,
-Miriam

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