January 23rd

Posted: January 23, 2013 in Uncategorized

Dear journal,

Andrew was gone when I went down stairs this morning. I remember thinking it was weird that he moved his bag and his stack of rescued clothing. I went by the hardware store, but he wasn’t there. I haven’t heard from him all day, and it’s almost midnight. I think he might not be coming back.

Did I scare him away? I know I wanted things to go slow, and I was concerned about him living here so soon considering our romantic involvement, but I didn’t tell him to clear out. If I had known he was leaving so early, I would have been able to lock the door. The front door was unlocked when I left for work this morning.

Is he mad at me or did he have a change of heart? I really don’t know why he wouldn’t at least say goodbye or let me know how to contact him, unless he doesn’t want to see me anymore. The only place I haven’t checked is the woods, but by the time I thought of that, it was dark and I didn’t have a flash light with me. I came home to see if he was back, but it’s like he was never here.

I don’t know if I have ever been this confused.

Maybe this is none of my concern and he’s in a better place. Maybe he met someone else. Maybe he made a new friend. Maybe I was way more attached than he was, and didn’t know it.

Well, I wanted slow, and there is nothing slower than him disappearing in the middle of the night. Be careful what you wish for, right? I’ll move on. I always do.

At least business at work is picking up a little. It was a nice change to actually have customers to distract me from worrying. Who knows if I should even be worrying, or if he would want me to worry. I guess the boss figured out some marketing plan, or got some advertising. That’s good, considering as much as it is boring and doesn’t require many brain cells, I do like my job.

I’m going to leave Andrew out of my mind. If he still wants to see me, he knows where I am. If he doesn’t, he knows where to avoid. If something happens to him, I’ll find out eventually, through the community notices from The Council. Until then, I just have to assume he’s doing whatever makes him happy and accept that I’m not a part of that.

I hope morning comes quickly, since I really need to run off some of this extra energy I am feeling, but I can’t do that at night. And no, I’m not going to check the woods, I’m just going to do laps. Checking the woods would just make me feel like I was setting myself up to be hit by zombies, considering the fact that you can only see for a short while and it is easy to get turned around in there. I just want to get my blood pumping, but I don’t want to get it spilled.

It’s not going to be my fault if he turns up dead, because I never told him to leave. In fact, I should be mad that he didn’t alert me to his leaving so I could lock the front door. For all I know he wanted me in danger.

No, that’s stupid. I’m pretty sure he’s not a murderer – well, of zombies, sure, but not real people.

Always,
-Miriam

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